Where’s the Beef?

“Just tell me where to go, please.”

My four-ton dog loves to hang out at the side of our beach house when a neighbor does a barbecue.

Scraps may come her way, and so she parks herself at the fence, looking as meek and longingly famished as possible. “How sweet” is the phrase she tries to extract from the neighbors, because that most likely means a bone or a piece of meat will come flying her way. [Continue Reading…]

Toilet Marksmanship

“Hey, he’ll blame us next.”

We stopped to buy coffee at a restaurant on a road trip, and my son and I went to the toilet.

As we stood next to each other at the urinals, my 11-year-old son looked over at me suddenly and said, “Oh, god! There’s a spider climbing up my leg.” [Continue Reading…]

Which Way is Up?

“Look, I’m floating.”

My youngest daughter and I were swimming in the ocean and she said, “Watch this.”

She submerged herself belly up under the water, put her right hand on her nose and then lay as still as possible. After a few seconds she came up for a breath.

“You see, I can float now,” the eight-year-old said.

I instructed her that you’re meant to float on top of the water, not underneath.

She looked at me puzzled and said, “Really?”