My Loose Tooth

“Right. This is the plan. This string goes on my tooth and the other end on…”

My seven-year-old daughter is a masochist with a cause. She wants cash and she’s got a plan on how to get it. First, she needs a piece of string. Then a brave soul to lend a hand. She’s going to tie the string to her loose baby tooth and the other end to a doorknob. Then she will brace herself against the kitchen table while the brave soul – her five-year-old brother has offered a hand, happily – slams the door shut. Out pops the tooth and in pops money from the Tooth Fairy. Cha ching!

She tells me she’s identified three or four baby teeth for the scheme and that she has a backup if anything fails, like if her brother chickens out or the doorknob comes off instead. This backup is a one-person method that involves using a pair of pliers to get a good grip on the tooth and pulling hard. Very hard.

I am already grinding my teeth at the thought.

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