My dad used to eat the rest of the ice cream, so we thought when we were kids, my two brothers and I. We’d carefully put the tub back in the freezer, us three kids having done our best to polish it off. Then in the morning it’d be gone, tub and all.
Put one and two together and it was easy to find the culprit. Who stayed up after we’d gone to bed? Mum and Dad. Mum denied any clandestine munching. So that left Dad. I don’t think we ever questioned him. It was just a given, guilt by association.
I think my two eldest children are now developing such a notion. My six-year-old daughter’s scowling at me right this second. She’s figured it out, so she thinks. What happened to the rest of the cake after she’d gone to bed? Hmm. Who stays up the latest? Hmm. Who’s just put away the clean cake tin (actually Tupperware box)? Hmm.
Well, all the hmms point to me.
So off my daughter runs. “Mummy, mummy. Daddy’s eaten all the cake!” she says.
I don’t hear a rebuttal. Mum’s not contesting the facts or confessing her own involvement. So, I guess, begins an old wives’ tale…